The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby porn room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for memek caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, crot she rolled her eyes and crot crot bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or memek sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new crot study from bokep the ever-liberal Swedes, memek it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and porn all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, memek you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: crot there’s sex as performance art, crot and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and porn is not fearing bokep for porn a fragile male ego, crot she’s far crot more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review bokep magazine, bokep female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, porn so they could bokeh make their partner feel happy, porn while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, porn and crot that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A new bokeh study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: crot ‘I’m enjoying this, porn but can you memek get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like bokep a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, memek where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: crot ‘As far as I’m concerned, memek that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and crot Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – bokep based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby porn males that they were fertile and porn keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn bokep I can understand porn the need to advertise. But if you’re not, memek then men should take heed: crot the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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